So, I thought I'd add a little to the subject of sexual awakenings and virgin fantasies. I think Trist has neatly captured things coming from the seducers side, but much of my fantasies lie in *being* the young seduced.
I recently read the Song of Fire and Ice (Game of Thrones) series, and as well as being all round awesome, it contained a particularly vivid depiction of a young woman's wedding night at age 13, to a man more than thrice her age. I won't give spoilers (if you've read it I'm confident you'll remember the scene and if you haven't; where the fuck have you been?), but it's incredibly erotic. Told from the girl's pov she is the picture of nervous anticipation and excited fear. She has only the vaguest ideas of what to expect, and is both shy and eager to find out. She "blossomed" (i.e started menstruation) a short time ago and is "officially" a woman by the norms and standards of their societies. Other than the politics, this was not an unusual situation for the setting, daughters could be a valuable commodity or an expensive burden, so were often married-off at what would be considered an illegal age by our standards. So, given that if we heard about this story on the news we would be outraged and sickened, how is it that reading about this scenario in a fantasy setting is so fucking hot?
It's because I remember the thrill of those first few exploratory steps; and not just the first kiss, first shag, obvious ones, but the first time I got a real crush, the first time a boy brushed his hand against my thigh. I can recall the unbearable tension and frustrated pleasure of a particular evening after a party, when I happened to be sleeping on the floor sharing a duvet with a guy friend, when we silently pressed our fully-clothed groins together, dry humping, breathing heavily but never kissing because he had a girlfriend. The first time I jerked a boy off and felt him squirt his cum over my fingers - how it was all done in the dark, under the covers in virtual silence. Even though I know those experiences were in reality very clumsy and rather lacking in skill, it was fun finding out!
So imagine how exciting it would be to have your first sexual experiences with a master? Someone of experience and skill, someone understanding who would guide you breathlessly into the arms of womanhood? I know it sounds a lot like a male fantasy or excuse, but I can clearly remember longing for just such a thing from as young as 13. By the time I was 15 and had developed a massive crush on a teacher I was positively gagging for it!
I shall call him Mr S. He was a Biology teacher, he was about 26, physically beautiful and knew it. He was an intelligent flirt, just like me and could make a seemingly innocuous comment seem dirty with just a glance or a smirk. He was arrogant and actually a bit of a bastard to the other students, but I was his pet and I squirmed in delight at his approval. Now, just to be clear, nothing ever happened. We flirted, sometimes outrageously (such as when he hand fed me a strawberry at a BBQ - innuendo-tastic) but he never took advantage of me in any way, never laid a finger on me, never voiced any suggestion that there would/should be more than flirting. No matter how much I wanted him too! He's been a recurring part of my fantasy life ever since, often popping into my dreams and daydreams alike.
I'll always wonder what it would have been like, if the rules hadn't said I was too young to know what I wanted. Would my first kiss have been masterfully tender and passionate, instead of drunken, sloppy and with the first person I could find who was willing (lol), would I have lost my virginity in a bed after hours of foreplay, instead of after a few vodkas by a canal?
There's no way of knowing for sure, but it sure as hell is fun playing the pictures in my head ;)
Issy xx
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